Wow, it has been a very long time since I have updated this blog! My partner drinks a lot of water, pints and pints of the stuff. Unfortunately, he has a nasty habit of leaving a pint of water on the coffee table and my laptop open and running, directly underneath. The inevitable happened and I found myself with a very dead laptop, thankfully my lovely Dad surprised me with a replacement laptop and that is why I am finally back on line after so long.
So, a lot has gone on in the time I have been away. Mr C has once again drunk a ridiculous amount of alcohol and is still suffering a month on. He never seems to learn his lesson. This particular occasion was the worst I have ever seen him - he lost all control and turned into what can only be described as a monster. I had to put up with him kissing and throwing himself at other women constantly, as well as him totally neglecting the duties he had that day (we were hosting a huge event). It is safe to see, that day was up there in my top 5 worst days ever. I cannot be angry at him though, as much as I want to be, I know that he has a problem with drink. He would never in a million years even dream of speaking to me in the way he did that day let alone treat me the way he did, had it not been for the sheer amount of alcohol he'd consumed. He's a big guy and can a lot, but he has absolutely no recollection of that day from 4pm onwards; just a huge blank. That in itself is scary, add to that the fact that his liver is already on it's way out - you can imagine what kind of state he is in now healthwise. There hasn't been a single day since then that he's felt anything like normal. He's sweating terribly just eating and taking the dog for a 10 minute walk. I am terrified when I think of the damage that he must have done to himself. At the end of the day though, he is an adult and is responsible for himself. I wish I could make him understand the pain and upset he's putting me through but he just doesn't seem to get it at all. Or maybe he just doesn't want to acknowledge it as it will only make him feel worse. His depression is worse than ever, I think that is a combination of the Hep taking hold after his binge and the reality of what he's done to himself and to me.
Yesterday things came to a head and I begged him to get help. As I've mentioned in previous posts, my partner is in a tough position as he was a Criminal Justice Drugs worker and cannot go to support groups without bumping into ex-clients. He keeps his illness from everyone except close family and friends so has always avoided support groups. We were thrilled to discover that an old colleague of his is now running a new Hep C support group and is looking for someone to help out. This means that my partner can get all the benefits from attending meetings and retain his privacy at the same time as nobody need know that he is suffering from Hep C himself.
Mr C's appointment with his Consultant has been put back about 3 times now. He's supposed to see him twice a year but hasn't seen him for over a year now. There is apparently some kind of backlog and despite his GP having written the hospital at least 3 letters requesting an emergency appointment, we are still waiting. The last we heard, the appointment should be coming through soon for July/August. There is a lot we want to discuss with the Consultant. Telaprevir has been given to some patients who attend the same hospital and we're hoping my partner could also try it as so far it seems to be the most viable option considering his genotype and treatment history. Also, we have now reached a point in our relationship where we really need some kind of counselling or for my partner to try psychotherapy as we have absolutely no intimacy whatsoever because of all the psychological issues he is experiencing due to the Hep and other issues from his past.
Anyway, I'll be making regular updates now I have a laptop again so will let you know how things are progressing.
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