Think I may have spoke too soon in yesterdays update! Not even 10 minutes after I posted, Mr C was in the depths of another depressive mood. He was explaining to me that he had nothing to look forward to anymore, that he was fed up with his life not meaning anything and that he had nothing to give me.
We've been here before. Many, many times. I responded in my usual way, explaining if you're not happy with the way your life is going then you have to find the strength to start making changes. I explained that I neither expect nor want anything at all from him. The fact that this amazing man loves me and is here with me is more than enough. Despite this he feels bad because he's out of work at the minute and has no money to treat me. His slf worth is at an alltime low. We've talked about him doing a few hours a week volunteering - that way he gets out of the house and actually feels like he's doing something and making a difference. Just before I called it a night and headed for bed he thanked me "for saying all the right things". I never know whether what I'm saying is going to be deemed right or wrong but I say what I feel. Luckily it's usually the right thing. Mind you it makes a big difference to know that the little comfort I can offer in the form of mere words is appreciated and makes a difference on some level.
Today Mr C woke up in a fairly good mood. Not a great deal of energy but he seems to have his positive attitude in place which is great. We took the dog to the park and later did the school run and a bit of shopping. At this precise moment in time he's in the kitchen chatting to our little girl whilst I'm in the bath blogging! I really hope he's this happy tomorrow too. I love seeing him smiling and getting on with everyday stuff that is sometimes so unachievable for him.
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